Turkey Sandwiches

So last night I tried to fit my fist in my mouth. For no reason really, I kind of just wanted to see if I could do it. But then, with my hand halfway in my mouth, I remembered trying this same feat as a child. And then my fist got stuck in my mouth and I started to cry. On a similar note, One day, our kindergarten teacher gave us our very own Space Jam pillow; Space Jam had just come out and was all the rage. I specifically remember her instructing us to not, under any circumstances, take out our new treasures on the bus, since then all the older kids would steal it. I returned home with my new pillow safe, but this experience opened me up to the concept that not everyone is nice.

Contrary to the warnings of my kindergarten teacher, the school bus was not packed with evil demons ready to steal away my belongings. When I was in 1st grade, all the big 5th graders who sat in the back of the bus took a liking towards me. They let me sit in the back with them (to the jealously of my fellow 1st graders) and even had a special nickname for me: Teriyaki. During this time, I had a friend in my class named Brandon. Brandon and I would goof off during class all the time: we would shoot rubber bands at each other, steal each other’s shoes, and that sort of thing. Once I started hanging out with the big 5th graders, Brandon started acting differently towards me. “Why don’t you go hang out with your big 5th grader friends?” he would say. I also distinctively remember that he also started calling me names like “furry face.” Looking back, “furry face” is not much of an insult, but at the time, I covered my furry face and cried with hurt and frustration.
After a few weeks, the 5th graders lost interest in Teriyaki, so Brandon no longer felt spurned. This Brandon character was quite the rebel, and he taught me some naughty words in 2nd grade. I didn’t understand how words could be so bad that they were completely forbidden, so I used them in my diction – much to the horror and admiration of my classmates. At that elementary school in Connecticut, a select few 5th graders are chosen to become safeties. Once they donned the fearsome orange belt of a safety, their egos swelled until they literally exploded from the daily power trip. So naturally, the bigheaded safeties and my foul language were bound to conflict one day. “Get back to your seat!” screamed one safety at me. Feeling particularly rebellious because of Brandon’s negative influence on me, I replied with a defiant no and let the safety know that he was an asshole. Then I ran like hell off the bus, since it was my stop and I was scared of his reaction. My rebellious misdeeds were not to be unpunished, since the next day, I was sent to the principal’s office for a severe reprimand. I actually do not even remember what he said since I had my face buried in my hands. When I returned to class, I was a blubbering and sobbing mess – a mess that further added to the infamous reputation of being sent to the principal’s office.

During my stay in Connecticut, my dad took us to his coworker’s house for a night of ping-pong. Here, I met one of my lifelong friends – Andrew (Andrew and I eventually both moved to Pennsylvania, and now we live 5 minutes apart). It was fun having a friend that didn’t find joy in breaking rules and spending recess in time out. My family would go over to Andrew’s house each Friday night; our parents would play ping pong, my little brother and Andrew’s little brother would play with Legos, and Andrew and I would play his Nintendo 64. Our favourite game was Pokémon Snap – the goal of which is to take pictures of wild Pokémon. I was always frustrated that Andrew would never let me play the final level where you had to take pictures of Mew flying around you. It didn’t look hard at all – the elusive Mew just flew in circles around you. However, Andrew claimed that it was too hard for me, and never let me play it. In fact, I mentioned this fact to him a few weeks ago, and he just laughed and told me “Taking pictures of Mew was still beyond my abilities.”

It occurred to me then that not only are people not nice, but are also judgmental and fickle creatures. Dealing with other people always results in confusion for me since humans are two-faced creatures that will adopt hypocritical views upon everything. They also all have strange individual personality quirks that make interactions with them even more complicated. My kindergarten teacher spoke the truth when she warned me about the grotesqueness hidden within everyone; yet, she failed to mention that if I can overlook their shortcomings, people are not too bad.